


Jan Delay's Ipod Adventure

by LjubavJeSvuda



Category: German Pop Music RPF, Music RPF
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Gen, iPods
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2019-11-01 07:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17863364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LjubavJeSvuda/pseuds/LjubavJeSvuda
Summary: A story that takes place inside an iPod, with German pop musicians, vocaloids and more stuff.





	Jan Delay's Ipod Adventure

Jan Delay woke up and looked around. He was on a grassy field, and a large tree was in front of him. He believed this was the first time he had ever seen a 'tree' before, and yet, somehow, he knew what it was, what it was called. He knew all these things that weren't possible for someone who had only just been brought into existence and yet, there was nothing before. Suddenly, he was interrupted from his thoughts by a man walking over to him, greeting him.  
"Welcome to Melodyland! My name is Marteria! And you are?"  
"Jan... Jan Delay," Jan said, somehow knowing his name although not knowing much else.  
"Welcome to the iPod world!" Marteria grinned, "Well, there must be some confusion, since you've only just got here and all. Things work differently here than they do in the real world, but, since you've never been to the real one, you wouldn't know that."  
"The... real world?"  
"Oh, don't you know?" Marteria said, "This world isn't the real one. Actually, I've never been to the real one either."  
Jan didn't know what to say to that.  
"Umm..."  
"Sorry," Marteria said, "It's kinda hard to explain.   
Jan said nothing. This was becoming more and more confusing by the second.  
"Basically, this whole world is located inside an ipod, if that makes sense?"  
"It doesn't," Jan said, "But you could try to explain it to me anyway, I guess."

***

Despite Marteria trying to explain it to him multiple times, Jan Delay was still having a little trouble finding his way around and truly understanding this strange place. Luckily, The Beatles were there to help out and explain the situation.  
"Well, this is Melodyland," George said, "This whole country is located inside an ipod. If you want to think really hard and deep about it, I'm technically not the real George Harrison, just like you're not technically the real Jan Delay."  
"Uh..." Jan didn't quite know what to say to that. Of course he was the real Jan Delay! Wasn't he...?  
"Of course," George continued, "I try not to think about stuff like that. And you shouldn't either. It's for the best."  
"Uh, yes," Jan said, "I think so too."  
The five of them walked for a little while down the road.  
"We should tell him about all the new people that arrive here," Ringo said, "So he doesn't think he's the only one, ya know?"  
"Ah, yes. You see Jan, your appearance here isn't that unusual. People appear here all the time. But no one ever leaves," John said, "Not ever. Every year we have a role call and every year the population is growing. Uh, who is it who does the role call again, Paul?"  
"Das Gezeichnete Ich," Paul grinned.  
"Yes, him," John said, "He's the one who does the role call. I remember now."

***

Talking to the Swede Tommy Korberg wasn't making things any better.  
"It's hard, ya know?" Petri sighed, "I feel like sometimes I'm the only Finn here..."  
"What?" Tommy laughed, "There's loads of others Finns here! Terasbetoni... Kunkuuiskajat... where does it end? There's a Finnish invasion in here! It's just that you talk to none of the other Finns... and then complain that there's no Finns!"  
Jan didn't interrupt them, it seemed they were happy here in this world, even if it wasn't the 'real' one, as Marteria had put it.

***

"If this world isn't the real one, wouldn't you rather go to the real world?" Jan asked on the second day of his existence, "Rather than being here in a 'fake' world?"  
"We can't do that," Marteria said, "Besides, in the real world there is already a Marteria and a Jan Delay there."  
"But then we could go and be the real ones," Jan said.  
"We couldn't be," Marteria said, "You know that."

***

On the third day, Jan came across a bunch of people looking at a large screen. On the screen there was just a big message.  
'Space free: 10gb / 20gb'  
"What on Earth does that mean?" Jan asked, but Marteria just shrugged.  
"Beats me," he said, "I have no idea what most of this stuff is about. Kraftwerk and Welle: Erdball are working together to try and figure it out, but I have no idea how long that'll take."  
"Hmmm..."

***

"Ah," Fraulein Venus handed the report to Marteria and went back to stand with the rest of Welle: Erdball and Kraftwerk, "I hear you wanted to see us about the work we've been doing?"  
"Yes," Marteria said, "Thanks for coming. I would like to know if you've found anything out about the displays on the control panel?"  
"Ah, of course," Honey said, "It seems to be displaying the space used and free on the ipod. Only half of it has been used so far."  
"Think of it this way," Wolfgang from Kraftwerk chimed in, "Melodyland is only about half as full as it potentially could be!"  
"Uh... great," Marteria said, "I would say it's big enough now but a few extra people living here can't hurt, I suppose... do you know what happens when the space runs out?"  
The room went silent.  
"What?!" Alf said, as if they hadn't thought of that.  
"You know," Marteria said, "What happens when the space on the ipod runs out?"  
"Maybe they get more space?" Florian said, "Somehow?"  
"Ridiculous!" Ralf replied, "I've already done the calculations, 20 gb seems to be the maximum space possible for this device."  
"Basically," Honey said, "We have no idea what will happen when the space runs out."  
"Great," Marteria sighed, "That's just yet another problem for us to deal with, then."  
"Yes," Honey said, "But hopefully that won't be for a very long time indeed.

***

"3JS... Fettes Brot... Hertzinfarkt... Sonnenbrandt... Die Perlen..." Das Gezeichnete Ich read out from a piece of paper, and each band answered to their name.  
Das Gezeichnete Ich had been in charge of the role call for nearly four years now. Every year, once a year, the role call was performed, to make sure that everyone who had ever been there, was still there, present in the musical town that was Melodyland. And every year, everyone was there.  
"Ok, you're all here? Yes, yes, of course you are, good."  
It was the same every year. No one had ever gone missing from Melodyland.

***

Two years later...  
Things were the same in Melodyland. Jan Delay was used to life there now, and was even in the running to be the president of the entire place, although he wasn't expected to win. Melodyland had never had an official government before, but, on the suggestion of Russian pop-rock band Mumiy Troll, an election was held. Marteria had been the natural leader and had practically been running the country ever since its creation, and he was certainly expected to win against candidate Jan Delay. That didn't matter to Jan, he thought Marteria would be a great president.

***

"Marteria for president!" yelled Nena, as she let go of a bunch of balloons, "Marteria for president!"  
"Jan Delay for president!" said Ellie Goulding, but other people just laughed at her.  
A crowd had gathered on the streets below, unfurling banners and chanting slogans. Posters which read 'Marteria for president' covered the nearby buildings, and there was a very happy atmosphere throughout Melodyland.

***

It was a few months later, things were going well in Melodyland. However, another city had sprung up nearby. This was very strange, this was something that had never happened before.  
"A new city?" Jan asked, "But how?"  
"We don't know," Marteria said, "In all the time I've been here, I've never seen anything like this before."  
"I heard there's people there," said John Lennon.  
"What? Impossible! Kraftwerk said that other city must be uninhabited!" Peter Fox said.  
"Well," Marteria replied, "There's only one way to find out."

***

Marteria was planning on going over to the city to see what was happening there, as an ambassador of sorts, but he didn't have to. Three of them came over to them. The blue-haired one, a young robotic girl, walked over to Marteria, and she introduced herself as a 'vocaloid,' whatever that was.  
"Who... who are you?" Marteria asked.  
"I'm Hatsune Miku, it's nice to meet you, Mr. President," Miku grinned, "These are my friends Gumi and Megurine Luka."  
"Thanks," Marteria replied, "It's nice to meet you too. But I'm not president yet."  
"You will be," Miku said, "You really think Delay has a chance? Ha!"  
"You follow our elections?"   
"Yup," Miku said, "We follow everything! See you guys around!"  
And then, with a flash of light, the three girls disappeared. The Vocaloids were gone.

***

The strange encounter almost made everyone forget about the upcoming election. Almost.  
Die Toten Hosen were chosen to count the votes, as they could be trusted to be neutral. Marteria had won the election, with 92% of the vote. Jan Delay hadn't done very well at all, but Marteria offered him the position of 'vice president' regardless, which he accepted.

***

The first real argument that had ever taken place in Melodyland came two days after the German punk rock band 'Frei.Wild' appeared for the first time in the middle of the forest. After the intial introductions were out of the way, the problems started.  
Another band, Kraftklub, disliked Frei.Wild, and issues began after the both bands were nominated for the Melodyland Echo Music Awards. Kraftklub and another band, MIA., announced they would be boycotting the event as Frei.Wild had been allowed to participate. Felix, the lead singer of Kraftklub, argued with Frei.Wild and accused them of being a far-right political group masquerading as a music band. Of course, Frei.Wild denied this.  
"Idiots! Complete idiots, the lot of you!" Felix yelled as Frei.Wild stood there, not saying anything.  
"Bloody idiots!" Felix's brother, Till, also jumped in.  
Frei.Wild just laughed, which only made Kraftklub angrier. Soon, the argument grew into a huge shouting match, and at one point looked as if it would erupt into a fight. A crowd gathered around the two bands, as news of the argument spread throughout Melodyland and people wanted to see it for themselves.  
"People, please!" Marteria yelled, desperately trying to keep the peace in the situation, "Please stop fighting!"  
"No way!" Lady Gaga laughed, "Don't be boring, Marteria! Go on! Fight! Fight! Fight!"  
Suddenly, all of them stopped as a bright blue light encased everyone present, and, when it faded, there she was again, standing in the crowd. The mysterious Vocaloid... Hatsune Miku.  
"Miku..." Marteria said, as the others in the crowd backed away from the lone vocaloid.  
"Yes, it's nice to meet you again too, President Marteria. "However, it seems that even you couldn't stop this breach of the peace," Miku said as she stepped out of the crowd and started walking towards Kraftklub and Frei.Wild, "You see, we vocaloids are a peaceful race. We can't abide arguments."  
Kraftklub and Frei.Wild backed away from the robot, but she just laughed.  
"When we see an argument, we just have to solve it. Strange, your country has never had an argument before," Hatsune Miku took a small blue gun from her pocket, "But, look what I've got! Anyone who gets shot by this... it's over."  
"What?" Marteria said, "Stop this right now, everyone, please calm down!"  
"Y-y-your gun won't do anything!" Felix said, trying to sound confident but failing at it, "The only way someone can be killed is if their songs are deleted! Your gun can't do anything!"  
"You know nothing," Miku replied, "This gun is all powerful."  
"Pffttt... as if!" Dolly Parton stepped out of the crowd, giggling all the while, "You and your fancy smancy gun ain't gonna do nothing to no one, no how!"  
"I'd stop talking now if I were you," Miku replied coldly.  
"No way, you and yer tiny lil' toy gun ain't gonna do nothin, ya stupid robot!" Dolly yelled, "Now get out."  
"Perfect," Miku turned to Dolly, "I can test it."  
And with that Miku pulled the trigger, and a streak of blue lightning hit Dolly Parton, sending her crashing to the floor with a bang. Gasps and screams came from the crowd, as many ran away from the vocaloid, who was now laughing hysterically as Dolly got up, looked down, and saw that she was fading away, just like Loreen had done.  
"Aaah! No no no!" Dolly yelled as she begun to fade away, "No no!"  
But it was too late, she was gone already.  
"I forgot to mention," Miku grinned, "Anyone who gets shot by this... well... they won't be coming back here again."  
"That can't be true..." Jan said.  
"It's very true," Miku laughed, "Now, don't make me come here again."  
And with that, the vocaloid teleported back into her own city, leaving the inhabitants of Melodyland to wonder what in the hell had actually just happened.

***

The vocaloids had appeared in front of German band Bakkushan. Marteria was trying to defuse the situation.  
"Ridiculous!" Daniel said, "We can't be sent to jail for having a Japanese name!"  
"Besides, we don't even have a jail here," Marteria said.  
"Oh, I'm just joking, can't you guys take a joke?" Miku grinned, but there was an evil look in her eye.  
"After last time, no, not really," Jan said, but Miku had already teleported away again.

***

"This vocaloid situation is ridiculous!" Jan said as he and Marteria sat in the President's Palace, "We have to do something about this!"  
"I know, but what?" Marteria said, leaning back in his chair.  
"I don't know..."  
"I don't know either," Marteria said, "But I just hope we can find a peaceful solution to all this."


End file.
